Tastes

This may be the most boring whisky I’ve tried. Some vanilla and brown sugar on the nose, thin on the pallet with a modest amount of barrel spice and a waft of cherry. Thin and quick finish that drags the original flavour down your gullet. I’m puzzled by its popularity and current pricing, perhaps that’s the appeal though - the quintessential bourbon. Nothing special about it, but also does the job it sets out to do, like my wardrobe, all from Costco.

If you’re like me you enjoy smashing cigarette butts into an over crowded ashtray behind the local fish monger. It’s where I take my lunch breaks and whilst wolfing down left over pickled onion and cheddar sandwhiches I enjoy an old shoe full of this stuff. My nose becomes sexually frustrated as the medicinal sea scape takes a seat and rests its hands a little too close to my nasal cavity, it distracts me from me from my other friends, smoked mackerel and peppercorn. I don’t mind though, she knows how to treat me right and I do my best to say hello to the old pals. Eventually she takes me away to a dingy hotel in Blackpool and plays Tears for Fears through tinny speakers. Peppercorn pops by and helps massage me into rolling meadows of pears and bandaids. A little wood oil and barrel bite never hurt anyone, especially when thin honey is there to soothe the welcomed stings. I lay there on the grassy hill and enjoy the finish of salted chocolate and medicinal ocean spray kisses me one last time. I pick myself up from a pile of wooden pallets and light one last ciggy before trodding off back to the office to finish sorting through customers tax returns. Life is bliss with this in my glass.

At first sniff a fragrant bouquet of vanilla and warm honey fills my life much like many of my exes, the more time you spend with it the more it exposes a swamp creature that’s laying underneath. Except, this glass is more enjoyable than any of the old girls. Taking a deep breath with your nose making double contact with the rim brings up sweet breads, some ripe fruit, a little sea water, a little grass, a little dirt, and finally some peat. I was hesitant to press further as many whiskys that I’ve disliked begins with the dreaded vanilla. But I’m glad I pressed on instead of dumping it down the drain, again, like many of my exes. The vanilla and sweetness makes way for those sweet breads, almost graham cracker-esque. As your enjoying the bakery the sherry pops in for a loaf, as does some citrus. But alas, grey skies approach and the bakery soon closes. The change in weather is noticeable and it brings with it some light peat, some light smoke, and a warm dampness that lingers for a finish that was longer than anticipated, unlike my exes.

NYE 2020, the perfect drink to end the year. Why? Because it’s a bit of a let down. The nose is what I’d imagine a government committee spent several weeks determining what the masses would want in a whisky instead of what it could have been. Inoffensive through and through. Sweetness and vanilla is main stage, and though other characters attempt to play their part, vanilla just can’t get enough of your attention. Give it some time, ignore vanillas presence and soon jammy fruit will join the party. A little toast for the supporting act, a childhood memory of a summers breakfast. But just like an ex girlfriend, vanilla weasels it’s way back into the finish, soon leaving it’s department store perfumery lingering just long enough to remind you who’s the boss of this glass. Surprisingly, oak if fairly friendly and says hello but can’t get much else out before honey and vanilla smothers it out. The second sip calls on the fruit and toast for reinforcement but ultimately it is a failed attempt and vanilla ends the show with a solo that isn’t too long. All in all, pairs nicely with some pretzels that made me thirsty. Great introduction for someone who wants to dip their toe in but doesn’t want to commit to something complex.