Rating: 0/23 Yes, if you read that rating line up above, you can predict the general direction that this is going to go. TLDR: Do not drink. N: There is something alarmingly artificial on the nose here. All of my instincts are shrieking "Chemicals! Do not drink!" It has a light smell to it - no hint of age. There is nothing here that resembles whiskey. I've never smelled anything quite like it. Except maybe a particularly foul energy drink.I get some rubber and alcohol hidden behind the nauseating fruity sweet smell. Nothing about that sentence or the experience that inspired it makes me want to come within a mile of this ever again. But I suppose I will have to taste it... P: It tastes just like it smells, but so so much worse! I'd heard the rumors about how awful this was, but I didn't believe that they were entirely true. What a mistake! This is quite possibly the foulest spirit I have ever tasted! It tastes tremendously artificial with a loathsome bitterness. It's surprisingly thin as well. There is nothing resembling aging here. It's like Seagram's 7 cranked down to -1. It isn't just that there's a bit of rubber flavor. There's something vaguely fruity and also a faint herbal hint. There's something vaguely resembling caramel somewhere, but it's all just awful. Imagine the grossest gummy or jelly candy you can and then replace the sugar with five times as much of the worst artificial sweetener you can imagine. It's like the worst energy drink ever conceived. There isn't a single redeeming thing about this palate or experience. It is actually physically making my stomach convulse. I wouldn't say that it's quite nauseating, but it's pretty freaking close. Oh, no, do I actually need to drink some of this ?! Even sipping and spitting is miserable enough. What monster invented this?!?! F: I'm struggling to describe this. Not for the reason I did with the palate that it tastes like some sort of sci-fi chemical waste plant mutant drink, but because I'm struggling to swallow it and then not immediately rinse my mouth out. I'm down to my last 15ml or so (thankfully), but I still haven't actually been able to taste the finish. OK, I've finally gotten it a little bit. It's quite bitter. The rubber comes through more and the worst aspect of the fruit lingers, but it's the alcohol that really stands out. The only improvement here is that the worst of the artificial sugar bite is gone. It's just amazing how little character there is here that the alcohol can stand out, yet the flavor is so actively bad. It makes me want to cry. I have tasted over 1,000 spirits, beers, and wines, and I've even given at least one perfect score. This is the first time I've ever given a zero. There is nothing to redeem this abomination. It is just amazing that no matter how I look at it, no matter what use case I imagine, I just can't find anything that isn't bad about this bottle of garbage. If anything, this tells me that I've been too lenient with my higher ratings up until now because I've always found faults, even when giving a perfect score. There is simply nothing to redeem Southern Comfort. Side-by-side with Clan MacGregor (yes, a totally unreasonable comparison aside from them both being awful), I would take the Clan MacGregor by a fair margin. This is even harsh like Clan MacGregor. It's a 1 to 2. So, if this is lower than that... If you forced me to drink this, you would quite literally be violating the Geneva Conventions on torture. It is just that bad. Zero. Zero. Zero!