Ardbeg An Oa

90

Superbly smooth and peaty

Bottled in 2019. This is not an 85. This is a particular jab at Ardbeg An Oa because this is a review on this particular whisky, but this whole sycophantic relationship most reviewers have with the industry, where obviously mediocre expressions get at least an 85, is a wider problem. When a whisky reviewer gives An Oa 85 (or better), that is a problem. I remember how happy I would be, and how hard I would have to work, to get an 85 on an assignment in school. If I turned in Ardbeg An Oa as a book report – here you go teach; I read the inside cover and made up the rest – I would not get an 85. Whisky reviewers have to be harsher (and kudos to the ones who are). If you love whisky, then you have to hate some whisky. You can’t let these whiskies with no purpose in life slide by with 85 ratings; and now we are in a market inundated with mediocre whiskies. Let’s be honest. Nobody will ever like An Oa. If you like An Oa, you’re either lying, or you’ve tried less than 5 whiskies. If I was stuck in a bar that only served Johnnie Walker Black and An Oa, would I pick Ao Oa? Probably. But that bar does not exist. That situation does not exist. People like JW Black because it is a staple of the industry that is affordable and lends itself well to mindless drinking. Ardbeg may want to join that rank of agents of mindless consumption, but it’s not nearly there yet. It still has some real fans, and real fans know the introductory expression that this distillery deserves. Ardbeg Ten exists. And there is no reason for this “more approachable” imposter that occupies the same price range. An Oa is not approachable for beginners. This is still a very peaty whisky. It is Ardbeg, that is too young and still in need of gestation, vacuumed out of its ex-bourbon womb prematurely like an abortion; and blended with a bunch of other casks, which together may as well have the same effect as neutral grains. And I don’t care if you’re pro-choice or pro-life – it is not my intention to start a political debate on a whisky review – but I think we can all agree that splashing a little PX sherry onto a fetus to see if it’ll taste better is poor form. Anyways, here’s my fucking notes: Nose: I’m not getting 85. Palate: Not 85. Maybe a hint of zero. Finish: Nope still not getting 85. Score: 0 (forgettable) How much does a bottle cost?: $50-60 How much do I think a bottle is worth?: $35