I’m well aware batting 3rd in the lineup can have unintended negative consequences. But I love peaty smoky Islay malts so much I was sure any dram that bills itself as “heavily peated” could handle my dulled taste buds and slight inebriation. Let’s pretend we’re a Basset hound. What is better than a damp old brown leather shoe? Nothing! The smell of it attracts us to our master’s closet. Since we’re a naughty boy, we pick it up by the laces and drag it into the master bedroom and begin chewing on it. Immediately we realize our master must’ve worn these shoes when he last mowed the lawn. There’s something sweet. The master’s damn kid must’ve dropped a roasted marshmallow on the lawn after their last shindig around the fire pit and Master stepped on it while mowing. But we’re not complaining. Our lazy master waited too long to mow the lawn and it’s gone to seed. We can taste a little of that grain. Now we realize he also spilled some lighter fluid on his shoes as he was trying to light the fire. And that’s the best part of all. What a great shoe. I can’t believe humans don’t understand why we love to chew on them. They get better and better with everything Master walked though over the course of 7 years.