Nose: Dilute artificial coconut essence. Huge vanilla note. Palate: Sugar water. Thin coconut flavour, a tiny buzz of ethanol. Finish: Short. Sweet. This is exactly as I expected. It’s not actually foul-tasting, but it’s weirdly nebulous and almost attractively artificial. The official tasting notes are absolutely right – it tastes exactly of coconut without actually tasting of coconut. Actually, in a funny way it reminds me of vanilla cake icing. It’s also about as far removed from rum as anything I can imagine, but again, it’s not nasty. There’s little more to say. Add your choice of soft drink [lemonade or ginger beer work very well] or tropical juice [iconically, pineapple of course] and bang – instant low alcohol cooler. There are way worse things to drink, but just every now and then try making a real piña colada from scratch – it’s ... better. 1 part nice crisp silver rum (doesn't have to be expensive), 1 part coconut cream, 3 parts freshly squeezed pineapple juice. Shake well with crushed ice and serve. Summertime bliss. In a funny way I can respect Malibu – like Sailor Jerry it has no pretensions or snobbery about it at all – it just says “have fun”. There are worse philosophies. “Adequate” : 73/100 (2.25 stars)