Tastes
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Mortlach 25 Year Distillery Labels (Gordon & Macphail)
Single Malt — Speyside, Scotland
Reviewed April 15, 2024 (edited April 17, 2024)This bottle of Mortlach was bottled by Gordon & MacPhail on September 16, 2019 as a part of their Distillery Labels series. It is age stated at 25 years and is 43% ABV. It sells for around $300. This is my second bottle of Mortlach 25 year. I reviewed my first bottle in 2020 from a 2017 release, and it sounds like I quite liked it. Alas, I don’t remember if that bottle was also a sulfurous piece of shit like this bottle is, and I was just too enamored with the idea trying different single malts to care back then. Or perhaps Gordon & MacPhail doesn’t care and just puts whisky in rotten egg sherry casks occasionally instead of throwing those abominations out. Whatever the case, this bottle is not good. But I won’t give it a one-star rating because it does have some salvaging features. It is quite impressive in 2024 to still be charging $300 for a 25-year-old single malt from a popular distillery, and you can smell and taste the well-aged whisky here. There are rich notes of toffee and crystallized candied orange. There is also a good kind of sulfur in here that old Mortlachs sometimes display with distinction – a meaty, umami, shitake mushroom flavor that is rare in whisky. There is a good whisky in here, but it is just clobbered and maimed by some horrible sherry casks.300.0 USD per Bottle -
Springbank 10 Year Old Palo Cortado Cask Strength
Single Malt — Campbeltown, Scotland
Reviewed April 2, 2024 (edited June 5, 2024)Springbank 10 Year Palo Cortado is bottled at 55.0% ABV. It was distilled in July 2013 and bottled in September 2023. It is a limited release of 10,200 bottles. I do not know what the MSRP is, but you will likely not find it at MSRP unless you know people. I bought my bottle for $190, and this is going for $400+ on the secondary market. This needs to be said: Springbank is becoming Macallan. They may still be “making whisky the right way”, but there has been a drop off in quality, collectors have sucked this well dry, and nonsense whisky Youtubers are jerking off nonstop to these releases, asking questions like, is this best Springbank ever? No. This Palo Cortado, or any Springbank recently released, is not the best Springbank ever. Not even close. I haven’t had a good Springbank since their Local Barley series were on the shelves in the $100-200 price range. I may have been more enthusiastic about this Springbank release if I had not tried one other palo cortado matured whisky before: an independent bottling of 15-year-old Bruichladdich released by North Star. This release was limited to 264 bottles, bottled at 57.1%, and retailed at $300. I bought multiple bottles, and this is one of my top 10-20 all-time bottles. This Springbank 10-year palo cartado is simply okay. It makes me miss the Bruichladdich, that’s for sure. It is different, of course, from the standard Springbank 10-year-old, but it’s about the same in overall whisky enjoyment. If you can still find a regular Springbank 10-year-old at $100, it’s a safer bet than paying whatever premium to acquire this bottle. Younger Springbanks just do not do well with wine finishes. Bruichladdich seems to be the distillate for such casks; and if we’re calling Springbank the new Macallan, then Bruichladdich may as well be the new Springbank. However, I do wonder if this palo cartado finish would have been better suited for Springbank’s more rugged Longrow distillate, as in another addition to the Longrow Red series. As is, this Springbank just feels too young. You get an amplified earthy, briny Springbank 10, which is good; but then you get an awkward red fruit and peanuts; and the moderate peatiness is a third dimension that also feels out-of-place in a frustrating composition that seems as though the sum is less than the parts. It makes you wonder if they would’ve been better off just bottling the regular Springbank 10 at cask strength. Even for their Springbank 12 cask strength releases, I’ve found that I enjoy the releases that are more ex-bourbon more than the releases that are more ex-sherry. I think, over the next few years, it will be more and more acceptable to put down Springbank in a review. How a whisky is made is only interesting and important if the whisky actually tastes amazing. So, for now, the public service announcement is this: don’t suck someone’s dick for a Springbank. It may not be worth it.190.0 USD per Bottle -
Bardstown Bourbon Co. Foursquare Rum Finish
Blended American Whiskey — USA
Reviewed March 27, 2024 (edited April 8, 2024)Bardstown Collaborative Series Foursquare Rum Distillery is a blend of 90% 7-year-old Indiana rye and 10% 17-year-old Tennessee bourbon, finished in Foursquare rum barrels, and bottled at 53.5% ABV. This sells for around $150. Bardstown is the bourbon brand that I have tried more than any other; Foursquare is the rum distillery that I have tried more than any other. I have never had a disappointing bottle of Bardstown or a disappointing bottle of Foursquare; you put the two together, and obviously you have a solid product. Because this expression is mostly 7-year-old Indiana rye, you seem to be overpaying for the spirit, but a steep price is always justifiable when something is the best at what it does; and this is the best rum-influenced bourbon/rye that I have ever tasted, if you are looking for a harmonious balance between the American and the Caribbean styles. The baking spices and vanilla from the American side of things hold hands lovingly with the molasses, dark fruits, and lightly roasted coffee from the Caribbean side. The small amount of old bourbon in this blend buttresses a spicy finale with a leathery, oaky linger. This feels like a natural progression towards the bourbon/rye end the spectrum from the well-loved ex-bourbon matured Foursquare rums from their Exceptional Cask series. This is the perfect bottle to buy for someone who enjoys good rum almost as much or about as much as they enjoy bourbon and rye. The base blend is nothing special, but the perfect amount of influence from a high-quality rum finish is where the value lies with this Bardstown release.150.0 USD per Bottle -
Compass Box Vellichor is a blend of 12.1% Macallan in first fill bourbon, 38.9% Highland Park in recharred hogshead, 15.6% blended Scotch parcel in refill sherry, 29.3% blended malt parcel in refill sherry, and 4.1% Caol Ila in refill hogshead. It is no age statement, bottled at 44.6%, and sells for around $400-500. This is the second-best bottle of Compass Box that I’ve purchased, opened, and enjoyed, only behind the legendary Flaming Heart 2015 edition. The hefty price tag is justified because you just can’t find this style of Scotch hanging around on liquor store shelves anymore. The word “vellichor” is a noun that describes the nostalgia that book nerds feel when sniffing the air of an old, used bookstore. I have no fetish for old books, but I guess I am a nerd for old Scotch whiskies and this leather, dust, and wood profile is one of my favorite profiles. Normally, I would have to stop at a ridiculously stocked whisky bar like Jack Rose in DC or The Whiskey House in San Diego and order an $80 pour from an old and obscure independent bottle to get an experience like this, but I can now grab a pour from my own shelf. This whisky lives up to its name: A dusty, leather-bound book is what you get on the nose, but also apples, dark chocolate, and crème brulee. The palate features the delicate and expensive taste of old Macallan and Highland Park without the sherry - heather, honey, earth, dark chocolate, white pepper, vanilla, overripe orchard fruits, and an occasional hint of fig and basalmic vinegar. For as much hate as Macallan gets these days, the base spirit is distinct and legendary; and a Macallan aged exclusively in bourbon casks is rare, underrated, and allows the spirit to shine much brighter than the usual sherry matured expressions. I am not saying that if you gave this to me blind, I would be able to say that it contained Macallan, but the fact that Macallan is in this blend does not surprise me, and the Macallan makes this a distinct Compass Box release. The leather re-emerges and the peat from Caol Ila announces itself towards the end of the palate and during a long and nuanced finish. Each sip of this is something you will need to hold in your mouth for a long time to get the full experience; this is not a whisky that grabs your attention, but it is one that deserves your attention. I once tasted this whisky blind side by side with a Hazelburn 21 and a Springbank 21; two other whiskies that are dusty, yet bright and fruity. I liked this one the most, and it was not even close. Springbank 21, these days, is a $1000 bottle on the shelf. So, even if you are paying $500 for Vellichor, if you like the idea of being transported back into a time when a bookstore was the Internet, and people died of dysentery on the Oregon Trail, this is a worthwhile and magical experience. In fact, it is a little blasphemous for me to type a review on something that you are probably accessing through an app on your smart phone - I should be truly writing this review out, ink on parchment.430.0 USD per Bottle
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Glen Breton Rare 10 Year
Single Malt — Nova Scotia, Canada
Reviewed December 26, 2023 (edited February 11, 2024)Glen Breton Rare 10-year-old is bottled at 43% ABV and sells for around $60. This single malt Canadian whisky highlights two general observations: Canada exports trash alcoholic beverages, and The Scotch Whisky Association (SWA) is an uptight, insecure, and out-of-touch association. The victory won by this small Canadian distillery over the Goliath SWA was for the rights for a Canadian distillery to include “Glen” in its name, as if “Glen” can only be used by the Scots. This ridiculous battle started in 2001 and lasted until 2009, when this Canadian distillery, hilariously from a province named Nova Scotia, which literally means “New Scotland”, was officially allowed to appropriate the Scottish moniker of Glen. This factual tale, which seems like spinning yarn, is the best thing this whisky has to offer as I pour it to guests. Most of my whisky disappears into guests these days, and most of my guests don’t deserve my good whisky. I wonder if the SWA would have objected if this whisky was named Glen Garbage, because, like all Canadian products that make it to liquor stores in the United States, this is garbage. If the SWA is so insecure that they felt threatened by Canadian garbage, the cool thing to do would have to been to force a rename of a Scottish distillery that makes bad whisky, like Tamnavulin, into Glen Eh. This is tumbler with ice whisky. If a beginner was ready for their first neat single malt, I would probably pick something like Glenmorangie 10. Glen Breton 10 should not be drank neat, and does not want to be 43%. This should have been 40%, or 5% and carbonated. There is a beer quality to this whisky. It’s meady, bready, and solventy. Sourdough and acetone. There are underdeveloped fruity notes that collapse into a stale Cheerios finish. I grew up in Canada, and I am old enough and Canadian enough to know that Canadians are known for being nice, and nice people are all secretly passive aggressive assholes. It’s a real asshole move, Canada, to export Crown Royal and shit like Glen Breton. Thanks for nothing, eh.60.0 USD per Bottle -
willett 10 year son of a sipper
Rye — kentucky, USA
Reviewed December 23, 2023 (edited December 26, 2023)This is a review for a Willett Family Estate Single Barrel Rye aged 10 years from barrel 2305, bottled at 59.0% ABV, named Son of a Sipper, bottle 146/153. I bought this bottle in Annapolis, Maryland at a reasonable secondary market price of $600. I have in recent reviews declared my most expensive bottle of the year (Balvenie TUN) and best bottle of the year (Xiaman mezcal). Premature statements! I decided to open this bottle for Christmas time, and it is both more expensive than the Balvenie TUN, and better than the Xiaman mezcal. Willett makes the best rye, period. If you can find any offering of a rye around 10 years old for a reasonable price, it should be an automatic purchase. Of course, what is reasonable will be variable and dependent on your disposable income, but even if you are homeless, I would recommend trying a well-aged (6+ years) Willett Family Estate rye one time. Son of a Sipper is a Christmas kiss. It has notes of limoncello, cinnamon, pine needles, and a freshly mowed lawn; let’s get that out of the way. But, deeper down, there is chocolate, iris, pinecones, and lipstick. Most ryes have a distinctively masculine profile, but this rye is beautiful and soft. It is 59% ABV, but tastes like it could be 50%; a hallmark of quality.600.0 USD per Bottle -
Daftmill Summer Batch Release 2009 (USA)
Single Malt — Lowlands, Scotland
Reviewed December 6, 2023 (edited April 21, 2024)This Daftmill Summer Batch Release was distilled in 2009 and bottled in 2020 at 46% ABV. It sells for around $230. We all love local family owned small scale environmentally friendly ethically sourced homegrown composted products in theory. In practice, I bought a toy car for my son at a whole foods store that was all the above; I paid a hefty premium for the fuzzy feeling of helping some hippies who turn garbage into toy cars; and the wheels literally came off. I do not automatically associate some person’s or family’s labor of love with superior quality; the fact is that these quirky businesses often make things inferior to something comparable off the assembly line owned by a massive corporation. But I’m happy to say that there are exceptions to the rule: Daftmill is a rare example of the world functioning like we imagine that it should - a humble family of farmers gestating and birthing a whisky that can slay the Goliaths of the industry. You can smell and taste the passion that went into this whisky. It is extraordinarily complex and flavorful at just 11 years old and 46% ABV. The imagery that this whisky evokes is that of picking apples from your own apple tree on a late summer day, which you planted 11 years ago, in soil that you’ve hand nurtured by composting. A perfect, ripe but still crisp apple is the dominant note here. The sheer density of flavor is a tier above your average whisky - or apple, if you can allow yourself to continue exploring an extended analogy - the apples from the commercial lifeless soil abused again and again by fertilizer just cannot compare. The love of creation reverberates with every succulent, juicy bite. Other homegrown plants are abundant in this lovely dram: green honeydew, apricots, plums, and raspberries. There are also notes of fully open roses. The bright, floral, and fruity notes are balanced with some grassiness and Dunnage dustiness. I must say that this expression is like a revival of the legendary Lowlands distillery, Rosebank, which operated in an era when every whisky produced was a labor of love.230.0 USD per Bottle -
Xiaman Mezcal Artesenal 2020 is unaged and bottled at 44% ABV. It sells for around $140. This was the best bottle that I opened in 2023. Was. I decided to purchase, and open, an early Christmas present for myself, and it immediately became both the best and most expensive bottle of 2023. The review for that bottle, which is also not a Scotch, will be coming later this year. For someone who claims that his alcohol of choice is Scotch, I rather hate Scotch. I guess I’m too familiar with it; it’s to the point that if I had the time and energy to purchase a domain name for a review blog, it would probably be YourScotchSucksAss.com. By comparison, I’m still new enough to mezcal to love it. There are mezcals that still astonish me and make me marvel at how a spirit can smell and taste like it does. This mezcal gave me memories of the first time I tried a dusty 10-year-old Laphroaig bottle from another age, at a time when the most common thing a Laphroaig bottle on this side of the pond did was gather dust. It was not the peat that entranced me, but the note of rubber. I don’t know why this unusual note excites me, but this mezcal also has a rubber note, but in a completely different style than the Laphroaig, of course. The Laphroaig was rubber, rope, and the ocean; like a tugboat. Xiaman rubber is like the Botanical gardens combined with Pitch Lake in Trinidad and Tobago - an aromaresque menagerie of sweet tropical fruits and flowers, fresh spices baked until dry, and fresh asphalt. I am combining shit in my mind, by the way - if you ever visit the wonderful island of Trinidad, you will never smell the Botanical Gardens and Pitch Lake at the same time because they are separated by hours of traffic. Let me know if you can think of one real thing that smells sweet, flowery, and rubbery. The nose of Xiaman is rich and fragrant, both young and old. There is the zestiness from the common agave Espadin combined with the earthy, fruity star ingredient, wild Texpetate agave, which has been maturing for 25-30 years. The slightly smoky, rubbery, and clay notes are probably from the cooking of the agave in traditional underground pits, with traditional hand milling, and open-air fermentation. The palate of Xiaman is not nearly as potent as the nose; I would call the 44% ABV as strategically underpowered. Your taste buds will need to reach a little bit to pull the flavors out, but the subtlety is rewarding. The mouthfeel is incredible for the low ABV, like something halfway between a soup and a sauce. And last but not least, let’s talk about the value. This mezcal has not touched wood and is unaged, but whereas whiskies are mostly about what happens after distillation, mezcals are all about what happens before the distillation. This mezcal takes 25-30 years to make, thanks to the Tepextate agave, which is a rare ingredient in any mezcal. The sweat equity of production would probably put Springbank distillery to shame. The bottle that this mezcal comes in looks initially unassuming and maybe even cheap, but then you find out that the stopper is a hand-beaded jaguar head; the ferns and flowers on the bottle are hand-etched, and the bottle collar is hand-labelled leather. What the fuck. If this were a whisky, it would cost 25 thousand dollars at some auction. There are 500 of these bottles. I found a liquor store with two bottles. I blind purchased one, waited a couple of months before opening it, had my socks blown off, went back to the liquor store, and purchased the remaining bottle still on the shelf. I love mezcal.140.0 USD per Bottle
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Glenmorangie 18 Year
Single Malt — Highlands, Scotland
Reviewed November 30, 2023 (edited December 7, 2023)Glenmorangie 18 year old is bottled at 43% ABV. It sells for around $130. Glenmorangie 18 has fallen. A few years ago, when a coworker asked me for a Scotch recommendation for a bottle that is a little special, around $100, and something that he and his best men can enjoy for his wedding, I recommended Glenmo 18. It was a creamy, fruity, voluptuous dessert whisky that was, at the time, better than the similar Glenlivet 18 or the Glenfiddich 18. Alas, my most recent bottle of Glenmo 18 is sulfurous. With such a huge brand and such a ubiquitous expression, I doubt there is any batch variation. This is a shrug – a concession – surrendered to the festering state of today’s sherry casks. Bad sherry cask sulfur is not the sulfur of worm tub distillates. That sulfur is heavy, sinking into the liquid, and imbuing the whisky with a savory, heavy, meaty flavor. Bad sherry cask sulfur is a miasma that sits on top of the liquid and infects each sip with an odor of a rotting swamp. These whiskies are allowed to be bottled because perhaps most people drinking them claim to not be able to detect such odious notes. But I suspect most of these people are simply alcoholics. Did they fart in the bottle? That is the post-modern question when purchasing any sherry-influenced bottle today, especially those at a “competitive” price. Perhaps it is safer to buy bottles that are stupidly priced – the Macallan 18 sherry oak, the Octomore 13.2 – to satisfy your taste for sherry? Because, to pose more questions, is there any value in a whisky that smells like fart? Do I even need to talk about anything else about this whisky at all? Do you talk about what went well on a date when your date smells like fart? Smelling bad is smelling bad. The value of a bad smelling whisky is zero. A bad smelling whisky is not drinkable, and no tasting notes are needed. I will let this bottle “bottle-mature” for a year or two, because some say that the sulfur notes dissipate with time, but this has not been my experience. It’s a shame that I have to write this review for such a time-honored expression, but I have to put out the warning in this insane new world of terrible sherry-influenced whiskies.136.0 USD per Bottle -
Ardbeg Heavy Vapours
Single Malt — Islay, Scotland
Reviewed November 22, 2023 (edited December 5, 2023)Ardbeg Heavy Vapours has no age statement, is bottled at 46% ABV, and sells for around $130. This is the worst bottle that I have opened in 2023. I have started buying a few bottles as financial investments, and with no intention of opening them. The Ardbeg Day special releases are part of my “portfolio” now. I was inspired to crack open this Ardbeg Day special release by the only YouTube whisky reviewer who I still watch on a regular basis, Eat Smoke Drink, because he absolutely and hilariously goes into a rage about how atrocious this whisky is. Ardbeg Heavy Vapours is so monumentally bad, and such a malicious rip-off for the consumer that it belongs in a museum, perhaps next to the modern Macallan 18 Double Oak. This is Ardbeg Wee Beastie that they fucked up by forgetting a purifier on the still, and instead of throwing out the ruined product, they decided to come up with a marketing gimmick for this garbage and sell it for more than twice of the price of Wee Beastie. This whisky does have some average density vapors on the nose, and smells decent, but completely falls apart on the palate and finish. This is young, young whisky that tastes like smoky vodka. There’s unflattering notes of plastic, unripe banana, and potatoes. Thankfully, there is no finish with this whisky. Ardbeg is a distillery that has recently started to evolve into a long-lasting Ponzi scheme, and, fortunately, there are still plenty of new clueless “Ardbegians” to inflate the prices of discontinued bottles, so buying bottles of Ardbeg will probably still make financial sense for many years to come, if you are not planning to drink what’s inside. And, if you have the disposable income, you can still open a bottle for shits and giggles here and there, when the mood hits. I must give Ardbeg credit because Heavy Vapours is, in its own special way, awe-inspiring. They have stopped making whisky and they are just bottling their own piss. And I must yield a bemused stunned smile as I drink $130-a-bottle piss.130.0 USD per Bottle
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