Cromwell's Royal

Nose: Privet, bicycle inner tube, yeasty bread. A faint trace of generic cereal and apple aromas. A dash of water completely obliterates the nose, which is an improvement. Palate: Sweet-sour and hot on the arrival. Ethanol and nebulous flavours reminiscent of scotch whisky. The texture is thin. Water does nothing to improve it. Finish: Short. Hot, thin and bitter with a sour woody note at the end. This sad excuse for a blended scotch is distilled and blended in Scotland (probably from distillery reject malt and the cheapest available grain whisky) then exported in bulk to France where it is bottled for mainly European distribution by the GCF Group. Pray to whatever deity you worship that it never appears in a store near you. It is worse than either Castle Rock or Highland Earl and, most terrifying, you can buy it in supermarkets in a 3 liter cardboard box of the type used for cheap bulk wine. I’m giving it 0.25 stars, the lowest rating I will award (a rating of 0 from me means it will actually send you blind, and I don’t think this is quite that bad). I'm also awarding it 4 "upchucks" 🤮 a new rating I'm introducing for genuinely vile swill. It is almost the cheapest blended scotch you can buy over here but for literally $1 more you can get Johnnie Walker Red Label (which is *far* better) or for a mere $3 more Loch Lomond Reserve which is like nectar of the gods in comparison. Do not buy this dreadful whisky and hopefully it will disappear from the shelves. “Truly awful” : 50/100 (0.25 stars) and 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮