Green Tree Distillery "Green Fairy" Absinthe

Appearance: Intense transparent turquoise. As fake as paste jewellery. Aroma: Grassy spearmint, eau-de Cologne. Flavour and Texture: Neat there is an artificial mint flavour, a suggestion of fennel and grain alcohol with a bittersweet industrial quality. Diluted it is the same but harsher as if the high abv had been keeping all the badness in check and it is suddenly unleashed. This tastes nothing - I repeat NOTHING - like real absinthe. Horrific. Vile. Noisome. An offence to all deities. This concoction is about as far away from real absinthe as it is possible to get. It is almost literally undrinkable and certainly provides no pleasure to the imbiber whatsoever. It’s like a spearmint liqueur created from the cheapest artificial ingredients. I could not detect any wormwood and that should be the defining ingredient. Neither was there the slightest sign of green anise, fennel, hyssop, gentian, lemon balm, star anise or any of the possible herbal components expected in real absinthe. This is obviously not a distilled botanical product and I doubt it was even compounded from a mixture of essential oils. I'm convinced this is nothing more than numbered synthetic additives dissolved in ethanol - the most beggarly form of flavoured vodka imaginable by the frenzied mind of Satan himself. More than anything it reminded me of Listerine – the appearance, the aroma and the taste. The only difference being that Listerine is infinitely more pleasant to drink. Most shocking of all, it does not louche! What is the point of absinthe that does not louch? All that happens with ice-water is … nothing. It looks precisely the same. This is typical for all the gross, cheap eastern European so-called "absinthe" products and is the explicit reason why the demented "ritual" of setting a spirit-soaked sugar cube on fire was invented. It was the only thing that you could do with this muck - burn it. Sadly this is the most common "absinthe" available in Australia (but fortunately if you look around you can find much better brands). It is available under numerous names including “Green Tree”, "Green Fairy” (the most common label), and even just “Absinthe” and at strengths varying from 40-70%abv. Tasted from a 40ml sample. I would not buy a whole bottle of this if you paid me. In fact I would gladly join a campaign to have it outright banned from sale. For just $30 more you can find Pernod Absinthe in most good liquor shops and, as basic as it is, it sets the baseline for the spirit and exists in another dimension to this foetid, venomous swill. “Disgustingly Bad and Almost Literally Undrinkable” : 10/100 (0.00 stars)