Jack Daniel's Unaged Tennessee Rye

While perusing my local catch-all emporium (Costco) this squat, precocious little bottle caught mine eye. Though hesitant to put forth forty-five dollars for a Brown-Forman product (I’ve been burned before. I’m looking at you, double-oaked) I bit the bulleit and readily placed it in my cart next to my non-gmo vegetables, organic hummus, and shop-vac. Upon returning home I excitedly popped the cork and aggressively shoved my nose over the mouth of the bottle. Inhaling enthusiastically, I began to choke and sputter. I put the bottle down and took a step back, eyeing it suspiciously. After regaining composure, I assured myself it was simply the nose of an un-aged rye, nothing to fear, really. Arms extended, I gingerly poured myself a glass. Nodding to myself confidently I, breathing through my mouth, took a sip. Now I wish I could report that the taste had some redeeming qualities, something to make up for the assaulting and abrasive scent, but I can’t. I will say, however, that shop-vacs are excellent at getting non-Newtonian fluids out of carpet.