Troyanska 4-year Slivovitz

I think this is the worst liquor I've ever bought. This makes it hard to rate because I'm a relative neophyte to the world of liquor, so I'm not sure how much worse stuff is out there. I'm giving it a 1.25 because, like, I'm still alive, and it doesn't induce instant vomiting, and if I'm generous I can even identify a few promising notes, akin to how after being hit in the head with a baseball bat you might derive a small consolation from getting to see some pretty stars and colors. But drinking this is not an enjoyable experience. I'm sitting here with a tiny pour to write this review solely as an act of noble self-sacrifice. For a moment, there is something kind of nice on the nose. It's a clean, fruity smell, plums I suppose, although it kind of reminds me more of blueberries. Unfortunately, "clean" quickly turns into "cleaning solvent", and it's all downhill from there. There is an off-putting chemical smell that dominates the aroma. It's been a while since I've smelled formaldehyde, but yeah, maybe it's formaldehyde. Or maybe it's old newspapers soaked in rubbing alcohol? Whatever it is, it's not good. The taste, sadly, is even worse. I've never tasted formaldehyde but let's just say the primary component of the taste is consistent with the smell. It sort of makes my tongue pucker, if that is possible. Any remnant of nice plum or blueberry flavor is difficult to detect. There is a woody element, but it's rough and unpleasant, like chewing on a twig. The best I can say for it is that at the outset it hardly tastes like anything, before the formaldehyde kicks in. The finish hearkens back to nebulous childhood memories of having to choke down some cough syrup or other medicine. With a last gasp it goes down your gullet and you sort of stick your tongue out and wiggle your lips around to try to shake off the aftertaste --- but at least you're finally free of it! The magnitude of my selflessness in enduring this for this review is only now becoming clear to me. I had wanted to enjoy a nice glass of something tasty tonight, but now I'll probably have to rinse my mouth out and wait half an hour before I can even enjoy anything else. Okay, I'm having fun writing this review. This slivovitz is probably not as bad as I'm making it sound. It's not like I'm retching and gagging. But it is not good, at least not to my tastes. (I would say I'm just not a slivovitz guy, but I did have some in Croatia that I remember being pretty tasty, so it can't be just that.) The only reason I haven't poured it out is because I can't bring myself to admit my folly in buying this bottle. Not recommended.