WHISKIES I DON’T CARE FOR: ROUND 1 Flatboat Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey vs Few Bourbon Whiskey Lately I’ve been doing several side-by-side tastings. I have plenty of whisk(e)y that I love—probably too much—but I’ve also got some that I don’t care for, so I thought I’d mix it up and try to discern just what I don’t like about them. My mental shelving of them into the “not like” category means that they’ve been in the penalty box for some time; thus it’s instructive to ascertain whether or not they belonged there to begin with. The whiskies I selected for round one were selected randomly; they happened to be two that I recalled not liking. Unlike some of my other showdowns (Islay, BTAC, etc.), this side-by-side tasting has nothing to do with a specific region or type—these two whiskies do happen to be bourbons, by coincidence—but are simply two that I haven’t drunk much (if any) of because I didn’t care for them to begin with. Flatboat Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey- Flatboat is a private-label brand owned by Sazerac, who manufactures not just Buffalo Trace but Canadian Mist, Myers Rum, Mr. Boston Vodka, and Fireball, to name a few. The salesman where I was shopping at the time sold me on the Buffalo Trace connection, and it was only $22 or so. I bought it and tried it once at least three years ago, and it has remained untouched since then. There’s little information on the label other than the fact that it’s “Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey” and 90 proof. And since there’s no age statement on the bottle, it has to have been aged at least four years. Classic clear tawny orange color. Nose shows a lot of ethanol for 90 proof, along with oaky vanilla, some cinnamon, roasted marshmallow, and cherry pipe tobacco. But the quintet is not playing well together, with the ethanol at center stage and the other aspects competing rather than complementing. On the palate the harsh and undisciplined 90 proof wreaks havoc like an unruly child punching above its weight. There are persistent woody tannins on the finish, which is overcome somewhat by the vanilla and cherry pipe tobacco. Disjointed, but not undrinkable. May work with lots of ice on a hot summer day, or as part of a punch or other drink where the bourbon is only a secondary ingredient. Not good for drinking neat, nor in a Manhattan or Old Fashioned. 2.5 on the Distiller scale. Few Bourbon Whiskey More orangey color than the Flatboat. Nose shows sawdust, old Fruity Pebbles cereal, a petroleum-paraffin quality, and dish soap. The wood is more like pine than oak. The dish soap continues on the palate, like a punishment in search of the bad words that precipitated it. I received this as a gift, and while I greatly appreciate the gesture, it’s just not that good. Not a lot of bourbon typicity. There is a tannic dryness on the finish. The drink does coerce you to pause to try to identify what’s going on with the same kind of curious morbidity surrounding a car wreck. Turns out I was correct in my initial assessment. The bottle says it is aged “at least one year in charred new oak barrels.” Well, yes; to be called bourbon it has to be in new charred oak barrels. Apparently this bottle is no longer available; the website does show a Straight Bourbon Whiskey, which by definition must be aged at least two years. 93 proof. 1.5 on the Distiller scale.