Tastes

I have a bit of a thing with 5-star ratings. I've generally reserved them for drams that absolutely astound me in a way that is different from the norm. Things like excellent quality for not a lot of money (Evan Williams Single Barrel/Crown Royal Hand Select); Exceptional quality and exquisite flavor (Laphroaig PX/Ardbeg Uigeadail); and finally, a flavor profile so far outside the norm of what is routinely available that it simply astounds at the nose and palate (Octomore). This drink is none of those. What it is however, is what I consider the epitome of Scotch. All of them. If I had to pick just one bottle to use as a general guideline for the flavors, colors, and smells that define Scotch, it would be this drink. Color is golden straw, lighter than most, but honest in its natural state. Fine legs crawl the glass and a swirl produces tendrils that take minutes to reach the bottom. The nose is all things outdoors and fresh. Grass, brine, camphor, seaweed, sugar cane and smoke all make their aroma present, but in an orderly fashion so as to be individually enjoyed for what they bring. The palate is obviously island, but not obviously Islay. Rich and oily with brine, sweet peat, menthol, iodine, that hint of petrol that Laga seems to have all to itself and smoky wet ash. The finish is much like the open, but lasts well after the swallow is gone, and leaves an ashy goodness behind. Excellent, excellent whisky. It doesn't do anything exquisitely, but it does everything exceptionally well. This has earned a permanent spot in my home....................I was going to start big with my lyrical debut and go with something deep and provoking by the Stones, but in the end (and after 90 minutes of Classic Rock on Pandora), I've decided on Lynyrd Skynyrd's Simple Man.

Another Diageo Classic Malt, and another fairly solid, if not overly inspired, result. The nose is light but sweet; honeydew leading pears, with a hint of vanilla bean and a whiff of windblown field flowers. The palate doesn't offer much surprise after the nose, giving a creamy, rich, warm, honey coating which has just the slightest amount of stone fruits and the very, very slightest hint of anisette. Finish is smooth, creamy and short; a sweet taste for a few seconds before showing just a bit of woody astringency and then drying to clean nothingness. This started out as a 4, and contrary to all of my notes that I change mid-review, ended a 3. The more I got into this, the more one-note it became. Time and/or water doesn't change a thing, and while what's presented is pretty good, it's not better than average by any stretch. If you like smooth, creamy, sweet and non-challenging whisky, this is your ticket. But, as this is clearly channeling Irish overtones, might I suggest a bottle of Knappogue 12yr instead? The Irish, after all, have a lot more experience making Irish whisky.

Nose is typical Springbank, which is to say briny and grassy with a lemon undertone. It's neither overwhelming (Uigeadail) nor excessively muted (Bruichladdich Islay Barley), but pleasant, and certainly indicative of things to come. The palate is leather, lemon, uncut hay, anchovies, olive brine, honeydew, iodine and just the faintest whiffs of peat and fine cigar smoke, and they come together in such a way as to make this a remarkable drink. The finish surprises, as I can't figure how something that tastes this earthy, this dirty can end up oh-so-clean, with the salt lingering beyond the smoke and peat to leave your mouth dry and just a bit tingly. I can't really begin to do this justice with words; the flavors are so intertwined that it's really difficult to pull them apart. Much like the Ledaig 10, this is better than the sum of its parts. For a CS, this is imminently drinkable straight; very little alcohol burn, and it doesn't hide the flavors at all. A dash of water brings out rubber and iodine on the nose, and mutes the savory tastes allowing just a tad more sweet to show. The color is a fantastic dark amber, and while all Springbanks have a fairly rich, oily texture, this is the most viscous I've had. Excellent in all regards.

Bottle #11 in a 12 days of Christmas gift set; This whisky has a theme; and the theme is that it's pretty average all aorund. Nose is woody, with a splash of vanilla and a dash of chemicals like you'd get from smelling imitation vanilla extract. It's not bad, but it's neither inspired nor inspiring. Palate is much the same; sweet corn, vanilla, brown sugar and wood fade quickly to a drying, hot finish that burns for a few seconds and finally disappears cleanly. Better than Jack Daniels, and like JD, this was truly destined to make Coca-Cola drinkable. My suggestion? Spend a few extra bucks and Get the Dickel 12, which is still good in Coke, but also acceptable all by its lonesome.

Day 7 in a 12 Days of Christmas Gift Set. If you're following along from home and wonder what happened to Day 6, it was Piehole Pecan Pie whisky, and it ended up down the sink. As for our next contender; Stephanie is far too polite in her assessment. The nose smells of smoke and turpentine, maybe a bit of a rubber or carpet factory. The dried herbs you get on the palate are stale pepper from the greasy spoon 24-hr diner down the road, and just a touch of dried oregano, but stale, like from the bottle in the camping gear that you've never replaced after that one trip in 1989. It should be noted that none of this is to be construed as "in a good way". There's a bit of apple just before the finish, but the finish is so abrupt, so intensely unpleasant with acetone and formaldehyde that the nicest part of this sip is lost. I'd rather have a case of Miller High Life. And all that said, it's STILL better than Alberta Dark Batch...

Bottle #5 in a 12 Days of Whisky Gift Set; Nose is predominantly smoke, with a little lemongrass and salt. Palate is much the same, but slightly sweeter, with a dash of vanilla and caramel before the smoke washes everything away at the finish, leaving a slight ashy char on your tongue. A standard-bearer in just about any bar in the world, and a guaranteed safe bet.

Bottle #4 from a 12 Days of Christmas Gift Set. Nose is rubbing alcohol and apple juice. Palate is rubbing alcohol infused caramel, and nothing more. Finish is mercifully short and hot. I'd rather drink cheap vodka, as at least there's no other flavors aside from the rubbing alcohol.

Bottle #3 in a 12 Days of Christmas Gift Set; Nose is very mild, mostly wood, vanilla and just the littlest bit of corn. Palate is similar, presenting sweet vanilla heavily tempered by wood and leading to cereal grain (Sugar Smacks?). The finish is short and slightly drying, leaving a clean feel. Absolutely unoffensive. Also uninspired. I'll continue keeping this in my house, just as I have for the last 20 years, because my wife likes the occasional whisky and Coke, and this is the only whisky that is mild enough and smooth enough for her to enjoy. Between us friends I'll admit, that I too, like the sometimes Crown and Coke. But don't tell anyone else. ;-)

Bottle #2 of a 12 Days of Christmas Gift Set: Nose is pretty faint, with just a little apple and pear presenting. Palate is very smooth, and tastes so much of grape that it present more like cognac than whisky. After a few seconds, traditional flavors of caramel, vanilla and corn arrive, but don't last very long, and aren't very pronounced. The finish is short, slightly drying, smooth and pleasant. Not a bad drink by any stretch, but also not very challenging or complex. Light, fresh, and easy to drink, this could be just the thing to get that fence sitter started on the whisky trail.

Day 1 of a 12 Days of Christmas gift set. There is no nose to speak of. If I bury my nose in the glass, I get a hint of stale popcorn. The palate isn't spit-it-out bad, but it's not very good either. Sweet corn, corn syrup and a touch of vanilla, and you've reached the end. There's also really no finish. Maybe just a hint of drying. This is a drink I haven't had in literally decades, and I can see why. Were I a college student mixing cheap whisky with generic cola, this would serve the trick of helping me forget how "horrible" college life is. Or something like that. If you're over the age of 21, and still think this is a decent whisky, may I point you to my trusted friend, Mr Evan Williams Black Label? Please? No...really...I'm begging you...