Tastes

I’ve been waiting a long time to try this. Years. Literally. It did not disappoint. Thyme, herbs and nutty pepper on the nose. The palate is sweet but muted, fruity but not juicy with a very pleasant heat that cancels the only weakness of the more common lower strength version. There’s some working class muscle here that is nevertheless quietly but unabashedly in touch with its feminine side. I have just ingested and become all of humanity. Ok yes I’ve had a little too much to drink tonight but I’m trying to convey to you how relatable and satisfying this whiskey is, so please fuck off if you think my review is too ethereal. It’s an amazing goddamn whiskey ok? Goodnight

Peaty but with a sweet floral maritime breeze, the nose is a study in stark contradictions that somehow harmonize beautifully into dried apricot. The palate leaves no doubt about which distillery birthed this lovely expression, heavy smoke and iodine, sweet cherries and a great sinus rush on the nasal exhale. The cherries linger warmly and Happiness takes up long term residence in the chest and temples.

Lord. I finished it 10 minutes ago and had another dram in between and this ******** is still finishing in my mouth and all around my chest. That sounded pornographic and maybe it is. I’ve never had anything so medicinal and masculine.

Briny nose, sweet apples a little bite and a long savory finish. Really lovely

Nose: honey, not thick but runny. Like KFC’s honey sauce. Then Corn Bran cereal. Palate: sweet, lemon peel, then oak way back in the throat. As I sip longer, the oak creeps forward and dry sherry emerges. Finish: sherry takes over as oak recedes. A little lingering bite of ginger ale.

I don’t know how to do this without revealing something of a fetish. But I’m an honest man who wants to keep an accurate record of his experiences. At least in this forum where I use a fake name and no one knows me. The nose tonight was especially intriguing. A little banana. But something else. I’m taken back to a time, early in my career, when I popped into the nearby cubicle of a coworker. She was cute, but I hadn’t thought much about her. There was a very slight musty, sweaty smell. Not offensive, maybe offset by a little fabric softener. I glanced about and noticed she’d removed her shoes under her desk. Her little white socks must’ve been the source of the enticing odor. From that day on, I nursed a little crush. I don’t know why, but the olfactories sent a signal to my brain on nosing this dram that dredged up that little throwback. There’s honey and heather, a little smoke and salt. Then just grass and the warmth of the sun for a long time. Now I’m torn about whether to pour another dram or google “slightly sweaty socks”. This whisky smiles gently and urges, “Why not both?”

Talk about a cluster fuck. I cracked open a new bottle, really excited to try this whisky. As I (gently) twisted the cap, the cork promptly broke off. I tried to grab it with a corkscrew but the remainder of the cork fucked off right into this beautiful naturally caramel colored malt. Nose: cork. That’s all I smell. Palate: Fucking cork. Heavy cork. Finish: lingering regret and corky cork cork. I wrote all that before I tried it at all. I tasted it and it’s fucking amazing. I don’t know how to save this bottle. FUCK!

3.75. My go to rating for a whiskey I liked but can’t praise too much. What’s hard to believe is I think, after 5 years of going balls deep in scotch and kind of scorning a lot of other things, I’m finally trying Canadian whisky for the first time. What?? Sometimes I surprise myself with what a needless snob I’ve been. Here’s the thing. Crown Royal isn’t anyone’s definition of challenging or complex. I’ve tried to avoid the cliche (because I’m a fucking snob) word “smooth”. But goddamn if this isn’t velvety smooth. The nose is tart green apples and salted caramel. On the tongue I get the same thing- caramel apple, with just a slight bitter woody note. It tastes a little watered down. Then on medium-short finish a twist of lemon and cane sugar join the … party? Book club, maybe. The whole thing is pleasant. I’ll do this again.

There is a moment, separated by hours, not days, when your banana has too many brown spots. A few is fine, it’s not that much different than a pure yellow one. But then the spots begin to converge. And you’re like, “Dammit, what do I always buy 8 bananas and only eat 2?” So you grab one of these bananas and peel it. The first bite is pretty good. You tell yourself it’s actually not overripe. It’s halfway through the banana where you finally admit it’s creating that bitter, dry sting on the sides of your tongue. It tastes a little fermented. So you have 2 choices: throw it away or make something else out of it. You feel bad throwing it away. Here’s what I do: I drop it in the blender with ice, milk, vanilla and black toasted ground sesame seeds. And it’s delicious and I tell myself I’ve been waiting for the banana to reach this exact stage so it can be put to this exact use. I’m going to do the same thing tomorrow with the rest of my bananas. But I don’t. They go to waste and I move on to another treat.

This is absolutely one of my favorite drams. I nursed it for 30 minutes and new things emerged as the whisky aerated. There’s so much going on here. Roasted pork is prominent, but only when I hold the nosing glass to far outside of my left nostril. On the palate, a surprising sweetness. It’s spicy but it doesn’t burn. I’m not a big fan of rye, which is very spicy, but somehow the cinnamon and pepper here are both bold and gentle in a way that makes me feel safe and protected. The finish is fruit and flowers. But wait. That was just the first time through. Now the smoked meat is gone. I’m not getting smoke. The nose is Japanese grape gummy candy. Soft, chewy, more authentic concord grape flavor than American candy. The pleasing spice on the palate stays and a grape aftertaste with cardamom lingers. Update: I finished the dram and posted the review. Then I noticed mesquite smoke had just permanently taken up residence in my sinuses. My Lord, I could live contentedly like this forever.