Tastes

Around this time, people like to talk about their best whiskies of the year. The ones to buy, remark about another year past and enjoy with family and friends to ring in the next year but just as there is a nice list, there is also a naughty list of those bottom shelf disgraces that you either poured down a drain, created an infinity bottle blend or managed to send samples of to unsuspecting/curious friends that were willing to damage their tongues for science and the community. So, let’s go ahead and kick off this shit-show countdown from 10 down to 1 on 2021’s naughty list to keep away from the ones you love and give to those you don’t. 10. Glenfarclas 30 years- The 25 was so incredible, but yet the 30 did a siren song on the nose that lured me into my doom before laying siege to my tongue with bitter pithy fruit banshee screams. At $500+ for a bottle, there shouldn’t be any banshees in the bottle. 9. Deanston 17-year old Organic 2002 PX finish- A cocktail made out of sweet and sour juices, spent matchsticks and a cinnamon challenge. 8. Loki Icelandic Single Malt- This is almost gag gift level whisky, where you give someone a bag of jelly beans, but they don’t realize that the flavors are actually dung, animal urine-soaked hay and moldy fruits. At least it had a bit of a redeeming finish, but not nearly enough to make up for the smell or taste. 7. Mars Lucky Cat “Mint”- How could a bottle with a picture of a cat and price tag at nearly $1k today betray you? Well, this one did and tasted more like a kitty litter covered homemade grapefruit and lemon sorbet that some cigarette ash fell into when running the ice cream machine. 6. Proper Number Twelve- Do you like sweaty little UFC fighters coming in liquid form to beat the hell out of your tongue? Because that’s what the bottle @ContemplativeFox bought tasted like to me. Number 5-3 goes to the people at LAWS that decided to give the customer a recreation of what uncleaned bathtub whiskey from the prohibition era tasted like. These are whiskies that fall into the D.A.R.E. program and you really should just say “No” to them. 5. LAWS Centennial Straight Wheat- A chamomile tea brewed with bitter pithy fruits, bowling alley funk, and eating vegemite on trash can salvaged stale and moldy whole wheat bread. 4. LAWS Four Grain- Kiddy pool pee water soup that has been boiling on the stove with freshly polished black dress shoes, Apple Jacks cereal, used bandages and kitty litter. 3. LAWS San Luis Valley Rye- Military select knockoff lemon pledge that has been slightly watered-down using pickle juice and used in getting the nasty funk off the hallways in basic training barracks that the First Sergeant just threw his cigarette into. 2. Pure Scot Blend- I’m still not sure if this was a real whisky or not. @ContemplativeFox never let me know if he was tricking me with bottom shelf vodka with a splash of caramel coloring, but that’s what this one tastes like. We are now down to the final and most heinous whiskey of the 2021 shit-list. This goes to none other than: 1. Penderyn 12-year Ruby Cask- This is exactly what Everclear jungle juice baking in the Texas sun in a cask for about 1 year would taste like. Buy this overpriced ($160) bottle only for protection to be used on burglars as a form of mace. Happy holidays everyone and we’ll see what 2022 brings us for the naughty list. Cheers!!!

One day I was doing some whisky shopping to see what the next deals I could find and stumbled on what I felt could only be a gag. Nope sure enough, someone named their whisky Gold Cock, which immediately made me add to my cart to simply use phrasing jokes for when company comes over. After a few jokes of “Would you like to taste my Gold Cock?” or “You haven’t really lived unless you’ve put some 20-year Gold Cock in your mouth”, I’ve decided to write a review on it. Well, spoiler alert, get ready for some more phrasing. Lifting the Gold Cock close to your nose, you are greeted with a mix of berries and a farmyard funk that stays in the background of simmering apple cider with a few whole cinnamon sticks, gooseberries and huckleberries then the funk comes back to center stage with wet hay, clay and freshly sheared sheep wool with medium ethanol burn. After sniffing the Gold Cock enough for notes, I then took a mouthful which isn’t as thick as you would expect at 49.2% but more of a medium mouthfeel that starts astringent and spicy before fading to notes of apple cider, gooseberries and huckleberries then a freshly opened cinnamon stick broom, and farmyard funk with wet hay, flint rocks and freshly sheared sheep wool with medium ethanol burn. After swallowing the Gold Cock, it leaves you with a medium length finish with a mix of citrus, berries, chocolate and farmyard funk. Overall, I’m not really a fan of this one due to its astringency along with the weird mix of fruit, spice and heavy farm funk that just doesn’t mesh well for me. If you enjoy cleaning out some horse stalls with small breaks to drink some apple cider and have a snack of some sour berries, this might be your jam. Well, now that my review is finished, time to get some little 2-ounce Gold Cocks out to friends that would like to put them in their mouth holes to see if it performs any better for them.

The nose is rich starting with a mix of old antique oak furniture that’s freshly lacquered and caramel apple followed by high end dark chocolate truffles, figgy pudding and candied almonds then orange blossom honey, caramelized peaches and pear tarte tatin that transitions to spices of star anise, cardamom, dusty leather bound books and old polished oak with medium ethanol burn. The taste is rich and velvety starting with a mix of old antique oak furniture, light minerality and caramel apple followed by dark chocolate torte, stewed plums, freeze dried grapes and candied almonds then orange hard candies, poached pears and Morello cherry pie that transitions to spices of star anise, cardamom, dusty leather bound books and old polished oak with medium ethanol burn. The finish is long with dark chocolate, dehydrated figs, mandarin oranges, light minerality, poached pears, flaky puff pastry, spices of star anise, cardamom, dusty leather bound books and old polished oak that lingers for minutes. This is simply incredible with a nose that brings in those old dusty oak notes along with earthy dark chocolate, citrus, nuts and spices that carries over to the taste with a velvety rich mouthfeel with additional notes of cake and dark berries that finishes long with that old balanced oak with all the notes from the nose and taste combining in an encore before bidding you adieu a few minutes after the sip. These appear to be costing $2300+, which takes any value for money equation out of this one but you definitely get a banging great whisky. I’m very grateful to have tasted a 1oz sample, but that cost is far greater than I’d want to pay to have a repeat taste of this one.

This one has been up for discussion lately, thankfully @ctbeck11 gave me a sample, so time to open up the sample and dive in. The nose starts with a sour fruit and herbal rye mixture followed by chocolate covered toasted marshmallow then fruits orange zest and sour cherries that fade to a creamy butterscotch pudding, light barrel spices and whole wheat toast with high ethanol burn. The taste is a medium-full mouthfeel that starts with a sour and bitter mixture followed by creamy butterscotch pudding then chocolate covered toasted hazelnuts before fruits of orange zest, sautéed apples and sour cherries that fades to light barrel spices and a moderate oak spice with high ethanol burn. The finish is medium length with an alcohol cream infused chocolate covered cherry, sour apple lollipop, orange peel and slightly bitter oak spice. Overall, this is pretty good, but fairly youthful with more bitter and sour flavors than I’d prefer. Side by side with Lost whiskey high rye bourbon, Stellum is far better with a creamier mouthfeel and better balance, but next to a Russell’s Reserve single barrel, this can’t really compete as the Russell’s has a better balance without those sour or bitter flavors coming of the Stellum. At around $55, I’d rather just buy a Russell’s Reserve single barrel, OF 1920 or Woodford Reserve double oak.

The nose is very oaky up front followed by guava, kiwi, Fuji apple and roasted plantains then light floral notes followed by cocoa nibs, figs and stewed plums that fade to light minerality, barrel spices, old leather and polished oak with medium ethanol burn. The taste is a medium-full mouthfeel starting sweet with caramel apple before an oak blast followed by guava, kiwi, Fuji apple and roasted plantains then spicy dark chocolate, espresso, figs and stewed plums that fade to light floral notes, barrel spices, old leather and polished oak with medium ethanol burn. The finish is medium length with dark chocolate covered espresso beans, orange zest, maraschino cherries, vanilla creme brûlée, old vintage leather and antique oak furniture. This one was an oak bomb in the beginning but I followed @cascode advice and gave it around an hour to open up and allow those fruits to come through. Once it opened up, that oak was still very big on this one, but not a tannin bomb and more like walking around an antique furniture store with a tropical and citrus fruit smoothie on the nose. The taste kept those notes on the nose but brought some spicy dark chocolate and espresso that finished medium length with a nice balance of flavors. The price on these appear to be $300+ and I just can’t see myself pulling the trigger on this one. Still, it’s a very enjoyable oaky fruit salad with espresso that I’d like more of, but there are plenty of bottles that fit my palate better that cost far less.

The nose is soft and delicate that starts with vanilla blossom, light sulfur, mild brine and sherry notes of dark chocolate covered raisins with toasted nuts followed by fruits of canned peaches, dehydrated apricots and lychee that transitions to moderate barrel spices and light oak with light ethanol burn. The taste is a medium mouthfeel starting fruit forward with peaches, apricots and lemon zest followed by light floral notes then cayenne spiced dark chocolate, fresh figs and toasted almonds that fades to ocean brine, barrel spices and light drying ashy oak with medium ethanol burn. The finish is medium length with dark chocolate covered raisins, toasted almonds, light floral, sea salt, peach ring candy, mandarin oranges, black pepper and light drying ashy oak. This is an enjoyable pour with a nice balance of flavors on the nose that starts fruity on the palate before veering into a drying medium spice with earthy, nutty and dark fruit notes before fading to brine and ashy oak that finishes medium length with a balance mixture of flavors but also with slightly drying ashy oak spices. These appear to be costing $500+, but is drier and ashier than I prefer and for that price, I’d really want something that comes across perfect for me.

Being able to sample ghost distilleries or bottles of the past is always an interesting and fun experience, but usually comes with an exorbitant price of admission in order to be able to say that you’ve tried a ghost or bottle from the past. It appears that The Blended Whisky Company has been making successful blendings of ghosted distilleries and I managed to get a sample of batch #11 which features malt whisky from Caperdonich, Rosebank, Imperial, Mosstowie, Glen Mhor, Glenisla, Glenlochy, Craigduff, Port Ellen and Brora, along with grain whisky from Port Dundas that was bottled at 52.3%. The nose starts with a rich banana cream pudding followed by a light sherry influence with dark chocolate and figs then a light sulfur and minerality before fruits of dehydrated mango, lychee, and gooseberries that fades to toasted nuts, barrel spices, and freshly fallen leaves with light ethanol burn. The taste is a rich mouthfeel starting fruit forward with Fuji apples, gooseberries and candied lemon peel then dark chocolate covered raisins followed by grassy floral notes then comes a mild pepper spice mid-palate that fades to toasted walnuts, cloves, pipe tobacco, and medium oak with medium ethanol burn. The finish is medium length with manuka honey, Fuji apples, candied lemon peel, dark chocolate, figgy pudding, light minerality, ginger and mild oak spice. This is a rich whisky that brings a nice balance of sherry, citrus, florals, nuts and oak spices that is slightly spicier on the mid-palate than I prefer, but still a delicious blend of ghost distilleries that was really fun to try. These appear to be going for $300+ for a bottle which just doesn’t seem worth that to me, but if you want to try a blend of some ghosted distilleries, this is a pretty tasty one.

For a family get together, one of my brothers picked up this Northern Harvest and was raving about it from previous bottles. After he opened it and poured us all a glass, we all experienced whiskey face followed by stating our tasting notes of licking Crest toothpaste off a two by four and eating sidewalk chalk that was flavored with wintergreen. The bottle then came home with me to add to the liquor cabinet and sat in the back for months before @ctbeck11 was gracious enough to take it to allow precious bottle space. I took a sample of it to review and since @ctbeck11 shared his thoughts, why not add on mine. The nose is very welcoming with some butterscotch and winter spices then some light floral notes followed by fruits of poached pear and tangerine that fades to spices of wintergreen and pine with light ethanol burn. The taste is a thin mouthfeel starting with light caramel covered poached pears and tangerine then light vanilla floral followed by a mild spice that fades to wintergreen lifesaver and pine tree syrup with light ethanol burn. The finish is short and chalky with notes of sautéed apple, tangerine, butterscotch, wintergreen and burnt pine. This has drastically opened up since that first encounter that is fairly easy to drink with a mild and drying chalky finish. So, this is coming in right around average for me, but this is also a bottle that will only cost you $30 and I think that is a triumph. Honestly, this is an inexpensive bottle that you can pick up, enjoy and drink with friends and let everyone enjoy it mixed, neat or even jello shots. Hell, this is one of those drinks that you grab one to take to a Spring Break bender where you meet several girls, unfortunately yet very accurately named with stripper names, that tell you they only strip to pay for college, yet their parents are really picking up the tab, who decide a glencairn is a boring drinking style and shove your glassware to the side before filling their navels with the rye, instantly making this more of a 5-star dram. Yeah, it’s that style of drink in which you just have fun with it and once it’s emptied just buy another because it is good enough, inexpensive and readily available.

The nose is light and effervescent starting with a light oak spice and cereal notes followed by fruits of mangoes, papaya, and plums followed by dark chocolate, a light minerality then spices of candied ginger, star anise, dusty old library books and rich oak with light ethanol burn. The taste is a creamy rich mouthfeel starting with a light oak spice and roasted chestnuts followed by light floral notes of honeysuckle and orange blossom then fruits of apple chips, dehydrated mango, roasted plantains, and stewed plums followed by dark chocolate, a light minerality then spices of candied ginger, licorice root, dusty old library books and old polished oak with light ethanol burn. The finish is medium length with dark chocolate covered raisins, salted mango, orange peel, toffee, espresso, candied ginger, cloves, old leather and rich balanced oak. This is incredibly rich for a 42% whisky that starts with a nose of breakfast cereal, tropical fruits, dark chocolate and unique spices along with old but balanced wood notes that carries over to the palate with the addition of roasted nuts and floral notes that never veers into any over-steeped wood notes before finishing gentle with dark chocolate, citrus fruits, espresso, light spices and those incredible old but not tannic oak notes. I’d really like to have one of these in my liquor cabinet, but this unfortunately costs $500+ and I just can’t justify paying that price when there are other options out there that cost far less that I’d rather have. Still a very enjoyable and rich whisky that was worth having a sample of to taste, but just not a full bottle purchase.

The nose starts with a mild smoky quality, between fresh burnt matchsticks or ash followed by pickled ginger that transitions to sweeter notes of bubble gum with fruits of charred pineapple, honeydew and tangerine that fades to anise, Honey Nut Cheerios, Neosporin, poached pears and fresh bandages with light ethanol burn. The taste is a thin mouthfeel that starts sweet with big league chew bubble gum then fruits of pineapple, sour green apple, lemon, and grapefruit pith then some light cereal notes before a medium smoky and drying spice that slowly fades to pickled ginger, sage, sandalwood and medium tannic oak spice with a light ethanol burn. The finish is medium length that’s dry and spicy with pickled ginger, watered down wasabi or horseradish, fresh bandages, sandalwood, pineapple, lemon pith, sour green apple and ashy tannic oak. Overall, this is an average whiskey that brings in smoke, sweets, citrus and peat smoke in a thin package that is enjoyable enough, but hardly worth the $200+ dollars these appear to be going for now. Doing a side by side with the Yamazaki 12, they are very close, but the Hakushu 12 is slightly drier and smokier. Now time to figure out what to do with what’s left in my sample. After some discussion with my wife, we came up with a fun little sendoff of Hibachi style onion volcano. After carefully cutting the onions, I get my pan ready, stack these onions up, pour this whisky inside it and pull out my torch and witness Mount Hakushu blow with much more delight than drinking it.