Tastes

America invented corn whisky, but most of it sucks. This, and Bain's Cape Mountain, are stunning examples of corn spirits done well. Teeling has taken what is normally a loud and garish grain, tamed it with age in wine barrels, but kept a heft of corn's character. Up front it's creamy, sweet, and vanilla. It follows with this vegetal funk that is like a belch after eating a whole pile of coleslaw. You'd think that would be bad, but it works here and it's perfect. Like a beautiful woman who has kind of messed up teeth. The best diamonds have a slight flaw, right? More pricey than I would like which kills my enthusiasm a bit. But still, worth getting.

While the bottle of Dewars White claims to be 80 proof, it might be better listed as 80 grit. The flavour is rough, the finish raw and unhemmed. It's hard to imagine how a company the can produce the velvety smooth Dewars 12 can produce such an unpleasant bottle of scotch. Not worth buying at any price.

There comes a time when you don't want to dig too deeply in the pocket, but you need something with a robust character. Jameson is for the popped collar frat boys who watched too many Irish gangster movies. Tullamore green label is the hammer in your toolbox. It might not be elegant, but with the right vigor, it can tear down a house, trash a window, reduce a toilet to rubble, or hang an original oil painting. It's rich, slightly rowdy, and well rounded. Character, value, and depth. I found this with a $5 rebate, and for that price they're basically demanding I drink the entire bottle in a weekend. Start with an irish coffee -- a dollop of heavy cream, a shot of Tullamore, and some nice black coffee. Wait a few hours, have a cup of tea, then spend the afternoon drinking this on the rocks. Evening will come, but you might not be there to enjoy it.

The English Empire has long faded into obscurity, but JW Black is the lingering echo of influence even 120 years later. There's a reason this is the best selling scotch in the world -- consistency and quality. It's not the best, but it is as complex as possible while still being as unobtrusive as Heinz ketchup. Peaty, but not too much so. Malty, but not too much so. Sweet, but not too much so. There's not an airport in the world that you can't find this somewhere on the shelf. More than anything, the amazing talent in blending is revealed with every bottle because year after year, delivering this product with the consistency isn't easy. From a organoleptic sense, that alone is amazing. It's the cornerstone of any widely sourced bar. I love the stuff.

Approachable, lovable, rich, full bodied and scrumptious. Take the fruitiness of Glenlivet 12, add the a heft of oaky sweetness, the lovely candied flavors of cognac, and then a touch of voluptuous body and you've got this. It's very good. The price ranges from $46-$55 USD, and in that range it's an exceptional value.

A scrumptious blend, albeit grossly overpriced for what you're getting. If you happen to stumble upon an open bar at some industry event, by all means should you hoover up the JW Gold when someone else is paying. Otherwise, stick to any of the myriad of blended scotches that sell for $40 or less. It's just as good for the money.

A strange attempt to recreate a malt whisky from 1907. Why, I don't know. It doesn't work. This is a rather pricy blend of rough, young, sharp-edged malt whiskies that need far more time to mature than they were given, and the asking price is far too high considering for the same money you can get a Glenmorangie 10 or Glenfiddich 12. Throw this back in a barrel for a few more years and you might have something. But as it is now, you have the whisky equivalent of a tourist trap.

Probably the best overall value in this style and price. It's rich and velvety with a wonderful maturity and depth. It's like the rich Uncle of Glenlivet, and the mature version of Glenmorangie. There is much more pronounced oak character here than you get in most other scotches. If you're coming from bourbon, it's a taste you'll find familiar and if you're coming from a peated malt, the smoke notes will be a reminder. In the price to yum ratio, this is as good as they get.

The name should be "Taint's Scotch" Taint smooth, taint scotch, taint Dewars. A strange frankenscotch that combines the harshness of rum with the roughness of young grain whisky scotch. Look, I'm not some malt whisky elitist. I like a fine blended scotch any day of the week, and I really like Dewars 12. But as a Scotch goes, the Caribbean Smooth just doesn't work. It's at best a half step up from Dewars white label, but so is a hot cup of vinegar with a pair of dentures floating in it. The juice here is rather rambunctious, uncouth, blend that is part scotch and heavy rum. It's rather impressive really how the rum character comes though. Now, if you're the type that's into making your own drink creations, this has some interesting potential because of it's hybrid nature. But as a sipper, even on ice, it's a bit of a confused mess. The good news is that it's only $22 a bottle. But for the money, I'd rather get Chivas 12 or Monkey Shoulder.

Not bad, but fairly bland. There is a warming ethanol note, some peaty aromas, but not much body or flavour. If there's any malt, it's almost a homeopathic amount. A profoundly unobtrusive Scotch best suited to lonely, strip mall, dive bars.