Tastes
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Kraken Black Spiced Rum
Spiced Rum — Trinidad & Tobago
Reviewed August 4, 2018 (edited January 9, 2019)The nose is filled with artificial coconut, vanilla, and suntan lotion. A little cola, but maybe only suggested due to the ungodly amount of caramel coloring that must be in there. The taste: Oh, syrupy sweet. Like, Jagermeister levels of concentrated soft drink syrup, with more artificial coconut, and a bit of licorice; the "Dr. Pepper" end of the soda spectrum. Smooth and thick entry, a Trojan horse to deliver the 94 proof to the back of the throat and across the tongue. This is not actually *that* bad as far as lower shelf rum goes. It isn't rubbing alcohol like Captain Morgan and Bacardi, but the flavor profile makes it seem like it was specifically engineered for mixing with Coke. This is not a thing that I have any interest in doing though, and so I don't know how much more shitty liquor I will try just for the sake of reviewing it.19.99 USD per Bottle -
Plantation Barbados 5 Year Rum
Aged Rum — Barbados
Reviewed July 28, 2018 (edited September 13, 2019)Creamy vanilla and coconut milk on the nose, with some banana cream deeper down. The entry is medium-thick and sweet, with bananas, brown sugar, caramel, followed by a bright citrus note, possibly from the Cognac. There is an ever-so-slight tang in the finish to accompany the sweetness. Given the age, there is an unbelievable smoothness throughout. It's easy to drink too much of this stuff because it is simply delicious, and will probably be my go-to for quite some time. -1 star for the logo, which is a human centipede for some reason.24.99 USD per Bottle -
Jack Daniel's Old No. 7
Tennessee Whiskey — Tennessee, USA
Reviewed July 12, 2018 (edited September 4, 2018)On the nose, sweet corn and banana candy, with a chalky undertone. It smells almost like an antacid. The entry is thin, with a saccharine caramel and charred banana marshmallow character. If that last part sounds a little ridiculous, then you have somehow never tried Jack Daniel's. Circus peanuts come to mind, if you know what those are, and count yourself lucky if you don't. A random fruit that isn't banana shows up in the finish, adding some tartness. The whole thing is about as complex as Larry the Cable Guy, and a lot less endearing.24.99 USD per Bottle -
Appleton Estate Rare Blend 12 Year Rum
Aged Rum — Jamaica
Reviewed July 5, 2018 (edited August 27, 2020)Brown sugar, ripe bananas, cola, and a hint of cocoa on the nose. The entry is smooth and fruit-forward like the signature, but dried fruit this time; prune and caramelized banana. It finishes spicy, with a heavy dose of wood at the end. Fun fact, my mother-in-law finds this indistinguishable from Bacardi Silver. This is why I don't chain smoke.31.99 USD per Bottle -
Tanqueray London Dry Gin (47.3%)
London Dry Gin — Scotland
Reviewed June 27, 2018 (edited September 4, 2018)A classic nose among London dry gins; juniper and coriander, with barely anything else. Thin-bodied and level, lemon peel on the entry, lemongrass, lemon pepper, and any other exotic thing you can think of containing the word "lemon". Something more interesting almost shows up midpalate, but then quickly morphs into lime and more seasoning of some kind, or perhaps a manifestation of juniper. This is a gin that I highly characterize as citrus/coriander-forward, and seems a bit simple and one-dimensional compared to others out there. I suggest pairing gin alongside an IPA during the Summer months, and this one is good for chasing the more citrus-y hops.25.99 USD per Bottle -
Bombay Sapphire Gin (47%)
London Dry Gin — England
Reviewed June 27, 2018 (edited September 4, 2018)Sweet but balanced nose, with the juniper not too forward, but playing alongside the orange peel and (slight) anise. There is also a clear floral presence. A punch of coriander hits you first on the entry, followed closely by fruit, which surprisingly isn't all citrus; lemon, lime, and something resembling white peach, delivered with a healthy dash of cracked black pepper. I suspect the cubeb berries provide a lot of these hard-to-place fruit and pepper notes. A powerful wave of salinity builds and finishes with a bang. 3.5 stars.26.99 USD per Bottle -
Strong vanilla and honey on the nose, with sweet grainy confections like oatmeal cookie. Apart from the bakery aromas, this smells almost exactly like you are about to taste an actual bourbon. The sweet expectation is not immediately met, however, as the entry is surprisingly sharp, with a piercing spiciness of wood and young grain, which then mellows out into the more familiar honey that the nose promised. I think this disjointed entry is unique to a fresh bottle, as it is smoothed over a little if open for a while. In any case, the spice eventually reemerges with a little bitterness, and lingers into the short finish. While not quite as good on its own as I was expecting, I got this specifically because I thought that it would pair nicely with summertime beers. I was not wrong on that front; this (or Black Bush) is exactly the kind of thing you want for that. Definitely one of my favorite all-around cheap blends.24.99 USD per Bottle
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El Jimador Reposado Tequila
Tequila Reposado — Tequila Valley, Jalisco, Mexico
Reviewed June 6, 2018 (edited August 15, 2018)Sweet, floral grape and tart fruits on the nose. The scent becomes a little dusty when it opens up, with the salt appearing as time goes by, almost like it needs to rise to the top. Super smooth entry, and subdued in body, delivering a dose of what feels like mineral water carrying a pinch of salt and infused with fruit flavors. The fruit is very subtle, lemon/lime with just a hint of passion fruit, plum, and some kind of cherry dessert, but the minerality dominates all of it. The wood influences could be contributing to this character as well. It would be very interesting to compare this with the blanco.23.99 USD per Bottle -
Courvoisier VSOP Fine Cognac
Cognac — Cognac, France
Reviewed June 3, 2018 (edited November 17, 2018)The nose is not quite as rough as the VS, but still hotter than most Cognacs of similar age, distillation, and proof. When you get through the fumes though, baked apple and tartes aux poires await on a bed of perfumed rose petals. The entry is just a bit saline, giving way to raspberry-peach, then plum, followed by some tart fruit and wood spice to dry the finish. Sweet and fruity, but then tempered by the rest. Much better than my first impression of it last year. Napoleon was onto something, taking this stuff into exile.39.99 USD per Bottle -
Welp. My mother-in-law bought this to mix into a colada while visiting (she's not using MY rum for that), so I here I go tasting it. Wow. This smells exactly like cheap vodka. Rubbing alcohol and some bread dough, but not much else. The palate is thicker and sweeter than the nose suggests, with very strong vanilla, strong (but surprisingly smooth) rubbing alcohol, and ends with a very harsh alcoholic burn. It actually constricts my throat a little. I can see where the cherry note described in the @Distiller review comes from, but I think this is an illusion from extending the vanilla presence for too long, sort of like how a hint of cherry can show up in marzipan, or even when chewing on a raw almond for too long (try it!)12.99 USD per Bottle
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