Tastes

Better than I would have expected. Not quite as bold or complex as a man of my obviously Uber refined tastes would prefer when given my druthers Why Father Abraham himself swore I had the truest pallet in all the Land. Then he broke my spirit and killed my grandparents and erased my entire history. Turns out father abraham is a father A Hole

What is this? It tastes like Triple Sec. People must just love sugar beyond all reason. The amount of sugar you must acquire to put into a product that is 40% alcohol and infused with dozens of botanicals in order to make it taste like a pack of Splenda has got to be horrific. Also I see here on the bottle the use of Yellow#5 and the touting of using “Natural Flavors and Certified Colors”. Wtf is a certified color? Oh I see….you must think I’m just another drooling soulless mannequin, ripe for the mind-fracking harvest that can be taken in by a genuine sounding word salad huh? So that means this is just another fraudulent marketing ploy with no real fruit and no real innovation just a fancy name for the worlds most common fruit and a flavor profile that would please infants worldwide huh? Just more sweet generic candy for the dumb masses huh? IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK WE ARE!?!? FFFFFFFUUUUUUHUU!!!!! *hulk rages and smashes entire kitchen*

As if we needed more proof that the Japanese just create better products when they bend their will towards it, here’s Roku. Best bang for your 20 bucks in the gin world. Plus the hexagonal bottle...and the small details etched in the glass....and the simplistic label..:it’s design porn. I love hexagons. They are the bestagons. And I love roku. There I said it. I’m a whiskey drinker. But this is a gin tasting. And with that last bit of irrelevant information, I must be leaving now.

Bombay...the ole blue bottle trick...the gin people love to love. I’m thinking it’s all about the glass color because I cant tell what people love about it so much more than other gins. Maybe its the botanical blend ? Maybe it’s the bright aroma? Maybe its the cardboard aftertaste? Because to me thats what sets Bombay apart. The initial burst of bright herbs followed by a distinct cardboard finish. Its not terrible. Its just confusing. Like, why is cardboard such a desired flavor profile?

Very solid, very durable in various cocktails. Lacking a bit in complexity but it’s bold out the gate which makes up for it at least in part. Made by bartenders for bartenders I’m told. Well i don’t know who these people are who told me that but I can’t confirm anything in this era of mis-dis-re-information. All i know is I trust even the most devilishly rascal career bartender before I would ever trust any of the disgusting low level filth masquerading as journalists these days. Now if only I could remember who told me what....

A cult classic. Style points for Baroque ominous bottle. Weighted footer makes it hard to determine how full said bottle is, which can lead to a surprise disappointment. Nose is solid. Mouth is solid. Overrated a bit, yes, but still good gin. Cucumber sets it apart. Makes me want to be a plague mask-wearing apothecary slingin’ my wares in Louisiana back alleys. Wooden hand cart all rinky dink, bottles clinking as I come rattling across the cobblestones. Selling elixirs made with random swamp flora and fauna and a hint of black magic to passers by with a cackle. “Ah...:I can sell you a tincture, boy, but the cost will prove to be great kek kek kek yesss...great indeed!’ As I take the offered money with a quick flash of my gloves hand and whisk the coins off to some hidden compartment deep within the multitude of folds in my oversized cloak, grey and black mottled with green spots of algae and soot. Then I hands over this bottle of Hendricks and clatter on down the street at a speed seeming quite impossible, cackling and hissing, muttering to myself in a wavering sing-song lilt and disappear amongst the shadows. Enjoy your gin boys, for it may be your last.