Woodford Reserve Straight Rye
Rye — Kentucky, USATasted February 27, 2021"Excellent. Warm rich mouthfeel. Pepper and caramel and waves of enjoyment. Had me speaking in tongues as I lay writhing on the stone floor of the Temple. Made my never-acclaimed Top 3 Rye list. You know, the list I never made up until just now in my head.
Don Julio 70 Añejo Claro Tequila
Tequila Añejo — Los Altos, Jalisco, MexicoTasted February 27, 2021"To my surprise this is my favorite Don Julio expression so far. The nose is indistinguishable from the anejo, no surprise there, but after filtration, along with the color it took the bitterness with it, making this a smoooth elegant supper. Love. Much love. Much much love.
George Dickel TABASCO Brand Barrel Finish
Flavored Whiskey — Tennessee, USATasted February 27, 2021I’m going to try and be positive here. I like the concept. I like the courage to attempt this. I don’t hate it as much as I thought I would. I respect George Dickel and Tabasco individually as masters in their field. It’s inexpensive. It can be rendered palatable in cocktails. I’m leaving before this gets ugly.
Evan Williams White Label Bottled in Bond Bourbon
Bourbon — Kentucky, USATasted February 25, 2021Dude I’m aware of the benefits of allowing certain beverages to “open up”. I’m aware that oxygens invisible sorcerous touch can drastically affect your booze, brah. So I know this isn’t some eureka moment. BUT I will say, after experiencing what I’m about to describe with no less than 3 bottles, I think it’s a large enough sample size to say that you won’t fully experience what this juice this has to offer until you are halfway done with the bottle. The first half is fine...the usual suspects (caramel corn, toffee, buttercream, cinnamon, gingerbread, etc.) and the added proof alone pretty much rules out purchasing the “1783 small batch” or whatever they call it now and the black label completely if this is also available. It’s the mere difference of declining the “would you like to donate your change to charity” once or twice. Not that I’d ever do that....at this hour, is the end of that sentence, because all the stores are closed right now, it’s like 3 am. Did you think I was some delusional illiterate CNN-educated social activist, super woke, super judgy and super down with the hivemind? Blech. I’m not. I refuse to donate practically every time. I mean seriously, most charities are fraudulent fronts for the Deep State anyway and who’s to say where the money actually goes? No no no I save up my coins and pocket them so that my forgetfulness and neglect can enable the poly-rhythmic musical percussion act known as my clothes dryer to do it’s thing, rattling and tapping and rocking out hopefully in the dead of night. I sometimes set up a condenser microphone before the cycle and run wires to an amp in the bushes outside so my woke ass neighbors can hear the concert for free from the comforts of their REM sleep next to their angry and obviously uncultured wives. I’m good like that. But yeah for a mere pittance you can have this bad boy and the thing is, if you thought the top half was pleasant, the bottom half will blow your mind. That’s what I say to anyone who happens to engage me with my shirt off too. But in this case, the finish, the aroma, the whole Evan Williams bottled in bond experience gets compounded like the interest the banks hate you to have, and honestly, it’s a whole different animal. Don’t review this or critique this or even pay attention to this until you’re halfway done And it’s here at this juncture you can reflect and appreciate it’s true value. So basically treat it like you do your life.
Partida Añejo Tequila
Tequila Añejo — Tequila Valley, Jalisco, MexicoTasted February 22, 2021There is a lot of weirdness surrounding this tequila brand. Weirness like reviews where people are fawning over the brand jerking themselves off in its luxurious radiant waves of awesome flavor of angels...Weirdness like it was founded by the same guy who pushed Vitamin Water and other various snake oils. I’m supposed to believe he donned a serape and picked cotton alongside peasants for 3 years until he saved up enough pesos and started an agave farm and leaped into the tequila game?Doesn’t it take 7-8 years for agave to mature? Oh I’m sorry, I forgot, I’m in America, where one is not allowed to question the narrative lest they be labeled a *gasp* conspiracy theorist! Mother of all insults! Is it though? Well whatever. Here’s one that goes against the narrative and you can call me whatever you want because I actually do not care what a single person thinks of me. This is just ok. It’s fruity and grassy and:...well that’s it. A little bit of wood sugar maybe if I close my eyes tight and pray for it to manifest on my disappointed tongue. It’s not bad, but it’s not great. And I doubt it’s been aged as long as they say. Which they don’t say. So I’m right. In your face! And you know what else? Vitamin water sucks too, there I said it. If you want a mediocre anejo in a perfume bottle, this is your dream come true. If you want to overpay for disappointment this is an option. Personally I recommend you go get a bottle and form your own opinion which is what I did.
El Tesoro Blanco Tequila
Tequila Blanco — Los Altos, Jalisco, MexicoTasted February 22, 2021Old world style. That’s what they tell me. “They” being a sales rep for a distributor. “What that mean?” was my eloquent response. It means that the distiller uses old equipment and outdated techniques. Whatever. What it means to me me is whatever they use, they use it well. This is not watered down at all, in terms of taste, body and also factually. It’s double distilled to exactly 80 proof. So put that in your fact pocket for later use when wowing the tequila nerd ladies of which there are literally dozens. For you, the tequila nerd drinker, it means more pleasant and present oils in and around the mouthfeel. Earthy, bright, warm but not burny. In fact, unlike the other Bernie, this offering is very fresh and hasn’t sold its soul for a cash grab. Worth every penny. Well, at least worth $38 worth of pennies. In 2021. So by the end of next year it will be worth probably $70 worth of pennies. Not because the cost will increase because of the impending agave shortage due to government subsidizing farmers to switch to corn, but because the Fed continues to devaluate our currency by creating magic money at will. And thusly, ends my horrible inflation joke. This tequila has a much better and lasting finish than this review.
Bourbon — Kentucky, USATasted February 18, 2021It has a reputation. For what I don’t know, but this is slightly above a well bourbon. It’s name is a sham because it’s obviously super young. Great for mixed drinks though.
Partida Reposado Tequila
Tequila Reposado — Tequila Valley, Jalisco, MexicoTasted February 18, 2021Taste brings to mind a honeydew drizzled with honey. It’s pleasant but underwhelming, sort of like how I imagine sex with a librarian would be.
Bourbon — Kentucky, USATasted February 16, 2021Practically perfect in every way. Except price. And availability.
Four Roses Single Barrel Bourbon
Bourbon — Kentucky, USATasted February 16, 2021LE-23-6P. Remember this batch for it will live in infamy and go down in history...as the most disappointing Four Roses Single Barrel OF ALL TIME for me. But who are we kidding, no one gives a single f*ck about what I think, including me. So this won’t go down in history at all. In fact it will go down less than my Amish girlfriend. I digress. This isn’t bad at all, it’s just that most of the batches of 4RSB (we are on close terms, I can call it that) that have graced these supple complaining lips have been mostly excellent. This poor batch was cursed with an off-putting dill after taste. And not the good rye whiskey kind of dill either. The old pickle kind. It wasn’t the glassware either. I know because it was duly shattered after I smashed it upon the floor in outrage. Pay no attention to me sheepishly shuffling off to fetch a broom afterwards, it is the outrage that should be the focus. THE OUTRAGE!